The Balloon in the Room

Anxiety is the balloon in the room.
A thoughtless comment.
It starts off small. A little air, an inkling of life and doubt.

Anxiety is the balloon in the room.
A passive aggressive email at work.
It begins to grow. More experiences, more misreading. It’s starting to take up more space.

Anxiety is the balloon in the room.
A less than satisfactory meeting.
It’s starting to swell. It’s impossible not to notice. It’s a constant that wherever you look, it remains in your peripheral.

Anxiety is the balloon in the room.
A text that’s been ignored.
It’s getting bigger. It’s becoming a nuisance. Its taking up space that should be for other things. It’s pushing things aside that you care about with little to no regard. You don’t deserve these nice things. Not when you have this big balloon.

Anxiety is the balloon in the room.
An awkward look from a stranger.
It’s gotten to the size where it cannot be ignored. You’re walking around it. The door has has gone. The light is dimmed. You can no longer miss it, but rather you cope with it. You do what you can to leave it undisturbed for fear of what happens if you agitate it.

Anxiety is the balloon in the room.
A piece of toast that you’ve burnt.
It’s now out of control. It’s so large that you’re pushed against the wall. You struggle to breathe. You’re trapped with no room to escape. Every inch feels tighter, every move lodges you deeper. It’s taken over and there’s nothing you can do but hope it eases at some point.

Anxiety is the balloon in the room.
A simple request from your boss.
It pops. Everything inside comes spiralling out. The sound is deafening. It pulls your breathe away, you can’t catch it. The force turns everything in to a blur. It replaces the air with fear and self-loathing. It’s an experience that can’t be escaped, but rather feels deserved. Until it begins to dissipate away. Then comes the relief. The room is back and you have space to breathe once more.

Anxiety is the balloon in the room.
Another thoughtless comment.
It starts again. A little air, an inkling of life and doubt.